Archive for College
March 27, 2007
The Vapor of Life
5:36 pm | College | Culture | Stories | Comments: 13
I was in three different worlds yesterday. The day began like most any other, with me working at the old folks’ home. I can’t understand what it’s like to be 80 years old. That’s nearly four times my own age. Four times the knowledge, four times the life experiences, four times the struggles. In any other situation, that would get you respect; in America, it lands you in an old folks’ home, where you can be conveniently avoided by the up-and-coming generation that is choosing to learn by trial and error the lessons which most of the people around you learned 40 years ago.
After work I headed out to my humble alma mater, Grand Valley State University, stepping through what seemed like ages of time into the world of the college campus. Sitting on the back porch of the student union in the summery breeze, looking out across the green lawn with its small pond, I was surrounded by youth and beauty that was seemingly blissfully ignorant of the finite nature of life. As I sipped my drink I felt the sudden urge to do my homework, at which moment I realized with a satisfying smile that there was no homework. Instead I pulled out two sheets of music and read them, the strains of Verdi’s “The Force of Destiny” echoing in my head. Bahm, Bahm, Bahm! repeated. Then come the strings: Doodelly-doo, doodelly-doo, doodle-edoooodee DOOdoo. I listened with my eyes until the foul-mouthed pack of sorority chicks to my left got rambunctious due to the arrival of a guitar-toting fratty. I gave them my best “Foolish students, don’t mess with an Alumnus” look and headed for my car.
On the way home I drove through the world of Division and Wealthy, in the Grand Rapids ghetto. This was another world in which I have had no experience. Due to the lot that God has given me by no choice of my own, I have never personally experienced poverty. I’ve been around it, to be sure; dirt-eating poverty of the most squalid kind. People who live in poverty don’t care about getting a college degree. They also don’t really care where they’ll be when they’re 80. They would truly understand what the Bible means when it says, “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”
By the time I got home I was wondering about my own world. What defines it, what’s good about it, what’s bad about it. The age-old questions popped up: where am I going in this life, what should I be doing, what does it all mean? No, the answer isn’t 42. As a Christian, I’m comforted by knowing that the answers to all those questions have been written down and preserved miraculously over thousands of years. It was really too much to think about at the end of a long day, so I just furrowed my brow slightly, put on my running shoes, and took off down the shaded sidewalks of Heritage Hill.
December 6, 2006
Your Drug is a Heartbreaker
5:09 pm | College | My Life | Comments: 3
5 months out of Grand Valley and I’m getting asked alot, “so do you miss college?” It’s a fair and reasonable question. Truth is overall I do not miss college. I’ve always believed it to be a means to an end, and not an end in itself. As such, it’s no big heartbreak to see it go. That being said, there are a few specific exceptions, not including simply the nostalgia fallout of not being on campus after 5 years of my life revolving around it.
Things I miss about Grand Valley:
Variety - a year was 3 completely different smaller years, in a technical sense. Each semester I’d be learning new things, expanding in some new direction. It always exciting to walk into a fresh class, clean slate, new cute chicks to sit next to, etc.
Free Workout Facilities - Not only did I not have to pay, but I was automatically in a position to be in the gym 3-4 times a week on a consistent basis. Needless to say that’s not been the case since school proper ended this past April.
Life of Ease - School was a breeze, really. As long as I finished assignments and did well on tests, I was free to be a lazy slob, not shaving and wearing sweat pants to class for an entire semester. This isn’t to say that I was always in lazy slob mode. Only on occasion, usually for morning classes.
September 5, 2006
Excerpts of Random Away Messages
11:15 am | College | Comments: 12
Makes me feel like I was just airlifted out of a massive firefight with Viet Cong.
Last day before school starts…*stretch*
class 
And thus began the lyric writin, and sleeping through lectures….
you know a college course is going to be good when the first day you decorate folders with glitter glue and pipe cleaners
I have so much homework that it’s hard for me to visualize what all has to be done.
I am away from my computer right now.
September 3, 2006
Some Advice for GVSU Students
11:36 pm | College | Comments: 9
Tomorrow morning the sidewalks of Campus Drive in beautiful Allendale, Michigan will be hustling and bustling with youngsters who think they’re more important than they really are because they go to college. I have some advice for you guys, having come up through the ranks at the good old GVS of U. First of all, don’t try playing Madden with the dudes in Kirkhof. They’ll beat you so badly that you’ll never want to come near a television again. If you go to the lobby shop and there’s no Vault in the cooler, don’t feel bad about going into the back room and grabbing some out of a case. If somebody stops you just say you’re the new guy.
There are a few computer labs that nobody ever uses; don’t stand around in line at Manitou like a brainless idiot when you can be checking your Facebook immediately elsewhere. If you’re in the northern regions, try the lab on the first floor in the west hall of Mackinac’s south wing. There’s always room for the enterprising online social networker. One thing that almost nobody does, for some strange reason, is walk into an empty classroom and use the terminal in there. I almost got to teach a class of psych students using this method because the prof was late. If you happen to be in a real bind, go see if anybody is in the DataComm lab. Just knock and say you’re a 357 student.
Everybody knows that if you’re hungry, the best deal for food on campus is Fresh Food. Not necessarily fresh, but food nonetheless and as much as you can eat. If your not terribly hungry, I’d probably hike down to the River Landing. The only other place that’s not a rip-off is Taco Bell. If you have a class in Lake Superior, don’t panic. Always go left (or always right) when you enter the building. That way there will be some kind of continuity to it. Otherwise you’ll simply continue going in circles until you die.
April 18, 2006
Riding 50
12:58 pm | College | My Life | Comments: 18
Bus 50 has been my daily transport to and from Grand Valley State University for five years. I love 50 because it’s saved me thousands of dollars in gas and maintenance on my car. As a commuter, you value that kind of thing. Contrary to what you might think, there’s alot to know about riding 50. The best seat is right in the middle, behind the door on the right. You get the most leg room and nobody is sitting around you and you don’t have to stare at the back of anybody’s head. The next best seats are way in the back, on the right or left against the window. They used to be better when you had a place to rest your head. The newer busses don’t have that anymore. Seating is critical on 50. College kids don’t like to sit next to each other if they can help it, so every pair of seats will have one person in them before one pair has two occupants. In the back, there will always be four seats available out of eleven. That is, unless some self-absorbed ignoramus sits in the middle of the triple seat, effectively eliminating the use of the two seats around him.
These days, rather than sit next to somebody else, people opt to stand in the front even when there are plenty of seats available. I can’t decide if these people are just socially timid or contemplating the long hours ahead of them sitting on a hard desk chair. Standing isn’t so bad, really. I’ve often thought, while sitting, that I would give my seat to a young woman standing up near me. Then again, there’s usually a plethora of young women standing up near me. Which one to choose? Maybe chivalry is dead, after all. 50 used to have alot of quirks. You’d know what I mean if you pulled up to “Collingdale” on the EASTTBOUND bus. Then there was the bus driver that would rap at each stop. He still does that, actually. I once fell asleep on 50 and woke up half-way to the garage. I asked the driver to let me off anywhere, and he did. Drivers of 50 like to accomodate. Sleeping on 50 is perhaps its most useful function. The best way get quality sleep is to find a way to rest your head against a window then prop it with your hand. That way it won’t start sliding when you get to the nodding-off stage.
GVSU students ride the bus for free. Most drivers realize that 99.9% of kids that ride 50 are in fact GVSU students, and can easily differentiate between those riders who quite likely are students and those who might not be. Every once in a while you get an IDer. IDers waste everybody’s time by having everybody, including kids who are obviously young enough to be the driver’s grandkid, prove their GVSU affiliation. I can understand IDing a haggard, long-haired guy carrying a trashbag in each hand, but why would you suspect a cute little blond chick, laden down with a monstrous backpack, wearing capri pants and a tight shirt, of trying to rip off the establishment? Eventually, when the 20-minute bus ride has developed into a 30-minute journey due to tedious ID-checking and the occaisional wait for some guy to run back to his car and grab his wallet, people get angry at the driver. But you shouldn’t mess with an IDer. Just trust me.
One of the great mysteries about 50 is why it runs less often on Fridays. It has always run less often on Fridays, and this has always caused me much grief. I can understand the different Saturday and Sunday schedules. Once, thinking I was safely heading for downtown, I woke up in front of a shopping mall. That’s what I got for riding 50 on a Saturday. But Friday is a pretty imporant day. 50 has always been a safe bus to ride. Only once that I know of did a 50 go into a ditch, during one of Michigan’s lovely winters. That bus was the one in front of mine, thankfully. Waiting for 50 in the wintertime can be a character-building affair. Spend 20 minutes in whiteout conditions standing on a four-foot snow drift waiting for a bus at the end of a long day and you’ll know what I mean. The real moral of that story is that the 50 came. It always does. Amazing.
I’m very glad for 50. It really is has been a key component of my Grand Valley career, which ends this semester. I will miss the sight of bus 50 rounding the corner to shouts of “Funfzig!” from nearby German students. Then again, maybe it’s time to part ways. Fare thee well, 50.
March 25, 2006
Cue the Pomp and Circumstance
12:12 pm | College | My Life | Comments: 5
I have here sitting in front of me the paperwork necessary for confirming my spot at Grand Valley’s Winter 2006 Commencement Ceremony. It’s a bittersweet thing, really. I’ve completed all the necessary classwork to graduate, so they’re letting me walk. However, I still have a blasted internship requirement to complete before the College of Engineering & Computing sends me the piece of paper that says I have the degree. It’s actually an interesting situation, because I can do the internship whenever I want and it’s only loosely related to GVSU. The only decision to make now is if I really want to sink a few hundred bones into all the graduation bric-a-brac like gowns and stuff.
SIO has always been a great source of wisdom relating to post-secondary edcuation. Once I have had proper time to relfect on all that has happened to me over the past five years, I shall be revealing the great secret of it all. I don’t mean to keep you in suspense, but, well ok I do mean to keep you in suspense. It’s going to be good, though.
March 12, 2006
Spring Break Endeth
11:11 pm | College | My Life | Sport | Comments: 5
And thus comes to a close the fifth James Lanning Spring Break In Which He Did Not Go Anywhere (JLSBIWHDNGA). However, a good time was had at ski hills, ristorantes, obscure Hudsonville rental properties, and lazing around in bed like a slob. Following the week’s top secret meeting with Mark, we patrolled the downtown area taking some cool pictures that I wish I could post, however they’re stuck on my cellphone pending me finding the cable thingie that goes in the plug whats-it.
What struck me most about snowboarding this season is how my relationship with my snowboard has grown over the course of the season (which, I’m afraid, may have come to a close). I feel myself increasingly becoming one with my snowboard. We’re a team, really; a partnership. This past Thursday there was a moment where I nearly forgot I was even on a snowboard. I was simply moving as God truly intended me to move.
February 17, 2006
Post-Secondary Educational Terrorism
11:35 am | College | Culture | Thoughts | Comments: 6
In twenty minutes I intend to walk into DEV 109D and bomb a test. That’s right, folks. It’s not a suicide bombing, as that would be extreme.
We’ve been talking about diversity in Management class lately, a topic that is so worn out after two decades at Grand Valley that I could teach a graduate class on it myself. It’s always awkward to watch videos on diversity when you have a room of thirty white people who are all trying not to look at the one black dude in the classroom out of courtesy. Now I’m not saying that Grand Valley isn’t diverse, it actually is. Personally, I don’t see any particular need for a diverse campus.
Affirmative Action has two sides: those against it say that people should get things and go places on merit, not by some government-implemented system that boosts them. Those for it say Affirmative Action only guarantees that people who are meritous get that which they have earned or deserve. I side with Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, who says that a black man can achieve whatever he wants in America without the meddling of the government. That’s not saying there aren’t racists out there, which there certainly are. Racism is one of the issues we deal with in America, and we always will be dealing with it. There needs to be a balance, however, between protecting people’s rights and overreacting by hand-feeding people under the assumption that they can’t feed themselves when it’s been proven that they can.
December 7, 2005
Dude, I Just Got Out Of Class
1:58 pm | College | My Life | Random | Comments: 7
I thought I would take a moment out of my stupe-tastically busy life and write about what I did today. Besides, I have 10 minutes to burn before German 301 and there’s only 45 people waiting in line frantically to print off their paper before classtime. Today I got out of bed at 8:30 after listening to Free Beer and Hot Wings for a half-hour. Getting out of bed is usually the best way to begin your day. That’s a tip, kids. Write it down.
So then I got trashed and all that. I realize now that I meant to type “dressed”, but rather typed “trashed”, I know not why. At any rate, I got dressed and had the usual Corn Flakes with far too much sugar added for breakfast, washed down with good, stiff Lanning coffee. I brushed my car off with what remains of my telescoping Ultrascrapernbrush, which snapped in half rather unfortuitously about a week ago. I had high hopes of using it to smack down some would-be hooligans, alas now it’s much too short. Five minutes to go.
Have you ever noticed how it’s at least 15 degrees colder in the Parking Ramp than it is outside the Parking Ramp? One would do well to study the Coolitude of the Parking Ramp. I parked my Honda in the Parking Ramp, as has been alluded to previously in the discussion about the Parking Ramp’s coolitude. This time I remembered to turn off my lights, so as not to have my evil world-domination plans foiled by the ins and outs of electricity and how batteries go dead if you leave lights running on cars. You’d think that we would have invented a means by which such batteries do not go dead by now. I mean, forget the whole cancer bit. I want electrical security for my transport apparatus!
It’s time for class. Huzzah!
October 1, 2005
The Sun is Setting
9:56 am | College | Culture | Thoughts | Comments: 3
The Classical Political Thought professor made a very interesting parallel between the United States (representing Western culture) and ancient Greece. The key is a similiarity between United States and Greece - both have (had) a culture that the entire world wanted to mimic. In the ancient world, everybody learned Greek, especially Romans. Everybody wanted to know what the Greek philosophers were up to, especially Romans. In Greece, on the other hand, nobody cared about the outside world. Nobody learned Latin, Hebrew or what have you. Between Greece and Rome, who won? As everybody knows, Rome eventually ran roughshod over the Greeks.
These days, everybody wants to learn English and absorb Western culture, especially nations like China. In fact, in China learning English is part of elementary education. Americans, on the other hand, don’t give a crap about other countries. Do you see anybody learning Chinese these days? I don’t. I also think it’s very likely that China will become the next great empire of the world. Not a very happy post, but this world isn’t a bed of roses. It will all likely end in tears.
