Archive for September 2006

September 26, 2006

Abuses of the Brog

1:38 pm | Weblogging | Comments: 8

As most of you know, I’m a big proponent of webrogging. I’ve written virtual reams of material on why brogs are good, useful, humorous, and informative things. As far as bad aspects of webrogging are concerned, I’ve mentioned those too. I found another one today, browsing through the typically filthy cesspool of comments garnered by one of Steve’s posts. It was, in fact, a weblog devoted to being mad at Steve. Should you be thinking about starting a weblog the primary purpose of which is to rant about somebody else’s webrog, I discourage you for several reasons. First, nobody can take such silly nonsense seriously. Second, if you want to rant, just leave comments. While it’s true that OpenDiary has the most ridiculous Nazi comment laws in the history of time, spending any time at all posting to a “this one guy sucks and here’s why” weblog is to be considered unholy and worthy of the pit.

I never like to leave people hanging. Rather than engaging in madness and fussbudgetry as outlined above, devote your weblogging endeavors to enlightening people with truth rather than cracked-mouth-drooling raves about how much you dislike a certain individual. The Webrogosphere will thank you.

September 25, 2006

So That’s What the Poets Meant

4:02 pm | My Life | Wisdom | Comments: 5

Life is a constant stream of decisions. These range in significance from the small (should I write a weblog post today?) to the large (to which pipe on the fuel filter should I connect this tube?). The ability to make good decisions will greatly help you in life, and if you can make them quickly you’ll really be able to get a leg up on the pile.

Decisiveness and Indecisiveness gets talked about alot in our culture. The fact is that there are many people out there of the indecisive variety, many of them young adults. Perhaps my least favorite leisure-time activity is to follow somebody into a movie rental place only to trudge up and down the aisles at a snail’s pace, waiting for whoever I’m with (Dude A) to decide what they want to see, only to decide (after 30 minutes) that they cannot decide on what movie to watch. The problem with such a decision is that you’re now at an impasse. Stage 2 in this scenario is when the decisive (or irritated) dude (Dude B) starts throwing out suggestions, standing around in a very impatient way, and threatening Dude A with death. This never helps, because it’s not getting at the root problem: the inability of Dude A to come to a full understanding of the nature of the “just choose one” concept. At this point, the 2 recourses at Dude B’s disposal are 1) follow through on the death threats immediately, or 2) find an acceptable film, rent it, and go sit in the car. Another dynamic here is that movie rental places are 99% crap these days and only the most discerning and astute filmanschauers can pick out the wheat from the chaff.

In the interest of shortening long stories, my advice to people young and old is to make decisions, make right decisions, and make them quickly.

September 16, 2006

Cheer, Cheer for Old Notre Dame

10:03 pm | Sport | Comments: 1

A great football game was had earlier this afternoon as the astonishingly-overrated No. 2 Notre Dame Fighting Irish were not only humbled but nearly excommunicated from the Roman Catholic church by the Michigan Wolverines. The 21 points actually assembled by the Irish belied the fact that they played so poorly that even St. Jude turned off the television before the game was over. The final scoring play was the best. The ball simply flipped out of Brady Quinn’s hand as he began his throw, and after he unsuccessfully attempted to cover up the fumbled ball a Michigan defensive end picked it up and rumbled 54 yards for the score - but not before a Notre Dame linesman comically bumbled a tackle on him and rolled off onto the sideline in dismay.

Let it be known that a SIO record has just been set for most words that end in “-umbled” in a single post, which now stands at 4.

September 13, 2006

Walking Back

3:51 pm | Poetry | Comments: 11

Night is ruled by moon and stars, but tonight they fight
A losing battle against the burning light.
Yet through the brightness of the city’s glare
I feel the blackness, always there.

Walking past them makes me sad;
Minds blown with any substance you can name.
Life’s a game with no rules:
Just have fun ’til your life is done.

Life’s behind me, and I’ve just escaped.
That’s why I’m walking back.
Everything a man could want I’m leaving,
Slowly fading into black.

The music pounds inside my head, beats attack,
Remind me of the world
That waits behind my back.
But now I’m walking back to silence.

By God’s grace I’ve made this choice,
By his power I hear the voice
Calling me to leave behind the world,
To seek his kingdom, not my own.

A fool I’ve made myself to be before,
Lessons learned the hard way.
These lessons burn my brain tonight
As I turn away.

The world entices, calls me back.
Even still I’m walking back,
Away from the world that waits behind my back;
And as I walk I pray for those remaining.

-James w. Lanning

September 9, 2006

Etymology

3:18 pm | Random | Comments: 8

Driving home from Holland today I realized that there’s really no other words for boogers. They’re just boogers, and that’s what they are. What else are you going to call them? Mucus clumps? Snotballs? Boogers are boogers, and that’s the end of the story.

September 5, 2006

Excerpts of Random Away Messages

11:15 am | College | Comments: 12

Makes me feel like I was just airlifted out of a massive firefight with Viet Cong.

Last day before school starts…*stretch*

class

And thus began the lyric writin, and sleeping through lectures….

you know a college course is going to be good when the first day you decorate folders with glitter glue and pipe cleaners

I have so much homework that it’s hard for me to visualize what all has to be done.

I am away from my computer right now.

September 3, 2006

Some Advice for GVSU Students

11:36 pm | College | Comments: 9

Tomorrow morning the sidewalks of Campus Drive in beautiful Allendale, Michigan will be hustling and bustling with youngsters who think they’re more important than they really are because they go to college. I have some advice for you guys, having come up through the ranks at the good old GVS of U. First of all, don’t try playing Madden with the dudes in Kirkhof. They’ll beat you so badly that you’ll never want to come near a television again. If you go to the lobby shop and there’s no Vault in the cooler, don’t feel bad about going into the back room and grabbing some out of a case. If somebody stops you just say you’re the new guy.

There are a few computer labs that nobody ever uses; don’t stand around in line at Manitou like a brainless idiot when you can be checking your Facebook immediately elsewhere. If you’re in the northern regions, try the lab on the first floor in the west hall of Mackinac’s south wing. There’s always room for the enterprising online social networker. One thing that almost nobody does, for some strange reason, is walk into an empty classroom and use the terminal in there. I almost got to teach a class of psych students using this method because the prof was late. If you happen to be in a real bind, go see if anybody is in the DataComm lab. Just knock and say you’re a 357 student.

Everybody knows that if you’re hungry, the best deal for food on campus is Fresh Food. Not necessarily fresh, but food nonetheless and as much as you can eat. If your not terribly hungry, I’d probably hike down to the River Landing. The only other place that’s not a rip-off is Taco Bell. If you have a class in Lake Superior, don’t panic. Always go left (or always right) when you enter the building. That way there will be some kind of continuity to it. Otherwise you’ll simply continue going in circles until you die.