Archive for April 2006
April 29, 2006
Reality Uncertain
7:39 pm | My Life | Religion | Comments: 5
Last night lying in bed I wondered what would happen if some hooligans decided to break into the house and kill my family. I know I’m not the only person ever to have had such thoughts go through my mind. I thought it through and all the scenarios ended up quite unpleasantly. Anybody can get through our side door, it’s so flimsy. I was once locked out and got it open with a woodchip. One good kick and it’s over. An experienced invader could get into any private domicile, I imagine. So how can one possibly sleep soundly knowing this?
My thoughts immediately called back to remembrance the immortal words of General Thomas Jackson: “I feel as safe on a battlefield as I would in my own bed”. A battlefield certainly offers more immediate danger to a man’s life than waiting for somebody to break into a house. What gave “Stonewall” Jackson this confidence? His faith in Almighty God. God is the only certainty in this life, for everybody and not just Christians. Christians are simply given enough grace to realize it. I’m in a very uncertain period of life, and I feel its worries, cares, and concerns weighing down upon me. At one time I thought that finishing college would really clear up some stuff in my life. Now it seems that it’s only made the waters more muddy. In spite of all of this, I have confidence that if I seek God’s face he will lead me though it all in a most excellent way.
Still, this doesn’t mean that I’ll stop sleeping with a K-Bar under my mattress. Survival is all about preparedness. It’s also why I gave up on sleeping naked. You think you’ll have time to find your boxers when your house is on fire? Not unless you’re some kind of ninja.
April 27, 2006
Cool Tapes
12:14 pm | My Life | Pictures | Random | Comments: 12
No tapes, just pictures.
Took a walk with a friend into GVSU’s ravine a few days ago. I’ve never been down there before, and it reminded me of my youth when we would go into the woods and come out covered in mud calling it the best day ever.
The fact that I fit my ever-growing drum set into my room is a modern miracle for which I shall no doubt be sainted after my death by the Roman Catholic church.
The lockers in the Calder art building are pretty big.
April 26, 2006
The Wisdom of George S. Patton, Jr.
12:04 pm | War | Wisdom | Comments: 3
“Anyone in any walk of life who is content with mediocrity is un-true to himself and to American tradition.”
“Discipline must a habit so ingrained that it is stronger than the excitement of battle or the fear of death.”
“Any soldier who surrenders with arms in his hands is not doing his duty to his country and is selling himself short because the living conditions of the Prisoner of War are extremely bad.”
“A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan next week.”
“There is only one tactical principle which is not subject to change. It is to so use the means at hand to inflict the maximum amount of wounds, death, and destruction on the enemy in the minimum time.”
“A pint of sweat saves a gallon of blood.”
“Catch the enemy by the nose with fire and kick him in the pants with fire emplaced through movement.”
“All human beings have an innate resistance to obedience. Discpline removes this resistance and, by constant repetition, makes obedience habitual and subconscious.”
“Our mortars and our artillery are superb weapons when they are firing. When silent, they are junk–see that they fire!”
“No bastard ever won a war by dieing for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.”
April 18, 2006
Riding 50
12:58 pm | College | My Life | Comments: 18
Bus 50 has been my daily transport to and from Grand Valley State University for five years. I love 50 because it’s saved me thousands of dollars in gas and maintenance on my car. As a commuter, you value that kind of thing. Contrary to what you might think, there’s alot to know about riding 50. The best seat is right in the middle, behind the door on the right. You get the most leg room and nobody is sitting around you and you don’t have to stare at the back of anybody’s head. The next best seats are way in the back, on the right or left against the window. They used to be better when you had a place to rest your head. The newer busses don’t have that anymore. Seating is critical on 50. College kids don’t like to sit next to each other if they can help it, so every pair of seats will have one person in them before one pair has two occupants. In the back, there will always be four seats available out of eleven. That is, unless some self-absorbed ignoramus sits in the middle of the triple seat, effectively eliminating the use of the two seats around him.
These days, rather than sit next to somebody else, people opt to stand in the front even when there are plenty of seats available. I can’t decide if these people are just socially timid or contemplating the long hours ahead of them sitting on a hard desk chair. Standing isn’t so bad, really. I’ve often thought, while sitting, that I would give my seat to a young woman standing up near me. Then again, there’s usually a plethora of young women standing up near me. Which one to choose? Maybe chivalry is dead, after all. 50 used to have alot of quirks. You’d know what I mean if you pulled up to “Collingdale” on the EASTTBOUND bus. Then there was the bus driver that would rap at each stop. He still does that, actually. I once fell asleep on 50 and woke up half-way to the garage. I asked the driver to let me off anywhere, and he did. Drivers of 50 like to accomodate. Sleeping on 50 is perhaps its most useful function. The best way get quality sleep is to find a way to rest your head against a window then prop it with your hand. That way it won’t start sliding when you get to the nodding-off stage.
GVSU students ride the bus for free. Most drivers realize that 99.9% of kids that ride 50 are in fact GVSU students, and can easily differentiate between those riders who quite likely are students and those who might not be. Every once in a while you get an IDer. IDers waste everybody’s time by having everybody, including kids who are obviously young enough to be the driver’s grandkid, prove their GVSU affiliation. I can understand IDing a haggard, long-haired guy carrying a trashbag in each hand, but why would you suspect a cute little blond chick, laden down with a monstrous backpack, wearing capri pants and a tight shirt, of trying to rip off the establishment? Eventually, when the 20-minute bus ride has developed into a 30-minute journey due to tedious ID-checking and the occaisional wait for some guy to run back to his car and grab his wallet, people get angry at the driver. But you shouldn’t mess with an IDer. Just trust me.
One of the great mysteries about 50 is why it runs less often on Fridays. It has always run less often on Fridays, and this has always caused me much grief. I can understand the different Saturday and Sunday schedules. Once, thinking I was safely heading for downtown, I woke up in front of a shopping mall. That’s what I got for riding 50 on a Saturday. But Friday is a pretty imporant day. 50 has always been a safe bus to ride. Only once that I know of did a 50 go into a ditch, during one of Michigan’s lovely winters. That bus was the one in front of mine, thankfully. Waiting for 50 in the wintertime can be a character-building affair. Spend 20 minutes in whiteout conditions standing on a four-foot snow drift waiting for a bus at the end of a long day and you’ll know what I mean. The real moral of that story is that the 50 came. It always does. Amazing.
I’m very glad for 50. It really is has been a key component of my Grand Valley career, which ends this semester. I will miss the sight of bus 50 rounding the corner to shouts of “Funfzig!” from nearby German students. Then again, maybe it’s time to part ways. Fare thee well, 50.
April 10, 2006
What Not to Do
12:12 pm | News | Comments: 7
Let’s say you have some vital information that is critical for the saftey of the nation. It needs to get to the proper authority, right? There are alot of options for you, actually. The list of many different organizations you can contact include the F.B.I. and the Federal Department of Homeland Security directly. It’s usually a bad idea, however, to jump over the White House fence and demand to see the President of the United States. Sequences like this remind of that montage in Ocean’s 11 of guys that tried to steal money from casinos. It just doesn’t work. How crazy do you have to be to think that the Secret Service is going to say, “Oh, well, this guy has vital intelligence information to give to the President. We’d better show him in.”? The guy was probably on quite a rush while he was yelling at the Secret Service agents pointing rifles at him. I wonder, though, what went through his mind as the cold steel of the handcuffs started digging into his wrists. Hopefully it was, “Wow. I need to stop being a nutjob.”
April 6, 2006
No News is No News
8:30 am | News | Comments: 17
First off I want to apologize to people whose comments are getting auto-moderated (that’s why they’re not showing up right away). I have no idea why it’s doing that. I have my top people working on the issue round the clock, and in the meantime keep commenting and I’ll just approve it (if what you say is hip enough).
It’s only been a few days and I’m already so sick of hearing about Katie Couric. This is the biggest non-story ever, in my opinion. Who cares about where Katie Couric happens to be working? Who cares about network news anchors? Who cares about the fact that she’s a woman? Nobody, nobody, and nobody. You have lots of women out there who say they wish it weren’t a women’s-movement issue. Then you have people like the stooge (stoogette?) that wrote this article today. The most ridiculous aspect of the article is that it completely focuses on all the wrong reasons for Couric getting the job - her bad interviewing habits, her good (?) looks, etc. Great line at the end is “Let’s hope she keeps those blond highlights and the camera catches her legs and those great shoes every so often when she moves to the desk where no woman has sat before.” Now that is something that makes me want to vomit.
April 3, 2006
My House
12:44 pm | Poetry | Comments: 19
I wandered one day
In lands of my youth
Where big houses stood
Surrounded by grass
And the cottonwood tree
Threw his seeds in my path.
I looked for the old place,
Ivy grown without care;
I came back to my house,
But it wasn’t there.
Dark wood was traded
For ugly white siding;
Woodchips and conifers
Replaced with just grass.
The old trees no longer
Stood silent watch.
Bay windows were missing,
Ivy walls laid bare.
I came back to my house,
But it wasn’t there.
What more can be said
About ivy and trees,
In the land of my youth
Where the cottonwoods cry?
Their tears join together
In piles of white,
Mourning this memory
Though unaware.
I came back to my house,
But it wasn’t there.
- James w. Lanning
April 1, 2006
Forward, Ever Forward
1:45 pm | SIO | Comments: 2
As many of you may have noticed, some changes have been made to SIO lately. We’ve been experimenting with as much of the functionality of Wordpress as possible. This week we’re proud to introduce Categorized Content, which distills the wide-ranging richness of SIO into organized compilations of amazingitude. Not only will this help one and all in enjoying the SIO archives more efficiently, it will make other things easier for me such as not having to re-post all the pictures on a pictures page (now all you have to do to see pictures is go to the Pictures category). We’ve also recently added the Top 50 SIO Commentors and some other random little things that Wordpress can do.
You may have also noticed the absence of the Broke College Kid. The B.C.K. has closed shop, pending his graduation. If you didn’t make use of the B.C.K.’s wise and practical advice, you really missed out. Soon, though, we will release a condensed version of all his mighty wisdom for the masses to enjoy.
Goodbyespace
11:14 am | Culture | Weblogging | Comments: 4
A couple days ago I deleted a Myspace account I had running (sorry to all my hundreds and hundreds of Myspace friends). Myspace is now officially the biggest Internet destination in the world, with 66 million users and 1 million new users every four days. It’s also the biggest collection of freaks and weirdos imaginable. You’ve got creepy old dudes looking for hot chicks, you’ve got creepy old dudes posing as hot chicks looking for dudes, and similar stuff. Myspace is trying to clean up its image as a hotspot for Internet predators, but I’d say they’d have to delete the whole mess to achieve that. This is not to say that there are no decent people in the mix. Of course there are. That being said, Myspace is a cesspool.
